Pelvis Brothers!
Holy fucking shit I'm going to see the Pelvis Brothers! On May 27th 2077! I can't wait to see this band for some reason! Woah! This is one of the craziest things I've ever done. If it wern't for everyone whos helped me along the way, I would've never gotten this far to meet the Pelvis Brothers. Nah, I'm kidding I don't have anyone to thank but myself. Come along and listen with me!
Pictures with Mario Bros!
Come take 1 billion pictures with guys in shitty knockoff Mario and luigi costumes! Admission is 26$. Kids will be able to eat one jelly bean and drink some lemonade. One minute after entering, kids will have to toss out their leftover lemonade and jellybean. I will begin to start getting really pushy towards all of the children to let me take pictures of them with Mario and Luigi. After a picture is taken, Kids will be escorted out of the event. Parents not allowed inside. If you swear, I will scream at you for 3 straight minutes loudly for everyone to hear. Takes place July 4th, 2069.
2nd Annual Basement Cleaning!
Every year I throw around random boxes into my basement filled with useless garbage that nobody wants to buy from me, and then I have kids come to my house and clean it up. At least that's what I would say if I still had access to cheap Laborers. Unfortunately, the school district I worked at didn't exactly see the vision I had for these bright kids after I drove them to my house and had them do housework for me. SO they handed me a pink slip which meant I was being let go. At least I didn't get fired! LOL! Anyways, YOU could be the kids' replacement. If you're under the age of 18, visit https://sites.google.com/view/evilivettecamarano/clean-my-basement?authuser=0
For more information!
Soap Box Race!
Do you like boxes of soap? Then you're in luck! If you come to 2393 Joe Street in Fort Wayne Indiana, you'll be able to compete with other soap box enthusiasts! Construct the best boxes of soap (soap required) and compete with other builders to win incredible prizes (Bonus points if you put shitty fucking Mario Kart stickers on it!)! Prizes incude: Creepy porceline dolls, a one year course of my "how-to-get-rich" class, and shit. Literal fecal matter from my pet dog. The event takes place on tuesday.
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